Guess what?!
I've been in a funk.
It's the lamest of the lame.
As I mentioned previously, I think, I have been pretty disappointed by the fact that I've lost ZERO pounds for a while. So add to that a feeling of helplessness that I've picked up from working with a bunch of kids in horrible situations. Mon-Fri, plus this STUPID weather, I know this is strange for me, I LOVE SNOW, I LOVE COLD, but it's too much. It's like a bad clingy boyfriend, it needs to go away so I can miss it...anyway - It has begun to take it's toll.
I've found that this FUNK is probably also on account of Jesus and I not speaking for a while. I don't know what it is about being home, but it is SO hard to get ANY alone time with him. I find ways to busy myself at all times. I stop to pray pretty often, but actually listening or singing or writing or ANYTHING else - NOPE.
Just a wall of white noise. This of course is my doing. Just to go further into my mind here as an excerpt of the post I was going to put up a while ago.
This was written at least 2 weeks ago.
"So after a week of trying out slim fast and keeping up with working out 5 days a week, I've gained another 3 lbs.
That's beyond frustrating when I know how far I need to go.
On the reals though, the equate slim fast tastes pretty good and it was filling for about 5 hours in the morning, but the lunch time shake was not cutting it for me.
I'm slowly taking steps against the food addiction thing, but only allowing myself one real meal a day is painful and honestly I end up eating more than I should because I think I'm starving.
I also tried packing snacks for work like cheese sticks, turkey slices, fruit.. I think it just added to my rage. One day, I drove to speedway on my break for a diet Pepsi (which I love and look forward to) and I left with a chicken sandwich and no cold pop. I was blinded by the hangry..
I think if I were already at my goal weight it would be a great thing. But because I have so far to go, I think I need more discipline. So I'm back to straight calorie counting.
Also I've recently had a hard time staying motivated at the gym.. Anyone have any suggestions? I really love planet fitness and I've really gotten into the 30 minute express and the 12 minute ab circuit, but 45 minutes on the elliptical is now something I dread."
All of that aside.
(back to real time)
I think my next step is to seek out time alone with God. SO (accountability fiends, get ready) I wish to be repeatedly prompted to date Jesus this month. Thank you, ahead of time for your support. (:
and with that I'll pass.
I've been in a funk.
It's the lamest of the lame.
As I mentioned previously, I think, I have been pretty disappointed by the fact that I've lost ZERO pounds for a while. So add to that a feeling of helplessness that I've picked up from working with a bunch of kids in horrible situations. Mon-Fri, plus this STUPID weather, I know this is strange for me, I LOVE SNOW, I LOVE COLD, but it's too much. It's like a bad clingy boyfriend, it needs to go away so I can miss it...anyway - It has begun to take it's toll.
I've found that this FUNK is probably also on account of Jesus and I not speaking for a while. I don't know what it is about being home, but it is SO hard to get ANY alone time with him. I find ways to busy myself at all times. I stop to pray pretty often, but actually listening or singing or writing or ANYTHING else - NOPE.
Just a wall of white noise. This of course is my doing. Just to go further into my mind here as an excerpt of the post I was going to put up a while ago.
This was written at least 2 weeks ago.
"So after a week of trying out slim fast and keeping up with working out 5 days a week, I've gained another 3 lbs.
That's beyond frustrating when I know how far I need to go.
On the reals though, the equate slim fast tastes pretty good and it was filling for about 5 hours in the morning, but the lunch time shake was not cutting it for me.
I'm slowly taking steps against the food addiction thing, but only allowing myself one real meal a day is painful and honestly I end up eating more than I should because I think I'm starving.
I also tried packing snacks for work like cheese sticks, turkey slices, fruit.. I think it just added to my rage. One day, I drove to speedway on my break for a diet Pepsi (which I love and look forward to) and I left with a chicken sandwich and no cold pop. I was blinded by the hangry..
I think if I were already at my goal weight it would be a great thing. But because I have so far to go, I think I need more discipline. So I'm back to straight calorie counting.
Also I've recently had a hard time staying motivated at the gym.. Anyone have any suggestions? I really love planet fitness and I've really gotten into the 30 minute express and the 12 minute ab circuit, but 45 minutes on the elliptical is now something I dread."
All of that aside.
(back to real time)
I think my next step is to seek out time alone with God. SO (accountability fiends, get ready) I wish to be repeatedly prompted to date Jesus this month. Thank you, ahead of time for your support. (:
and with that I'll pass.
deal.
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