Originally I thought
this would be a couple months; it actually ended up being exactly three weeks. I didn't
expect to learn much of anything. Honestly, I went into this thinking I would figure
out maybe how to get work done and get a routine in place; maybe even manage
free time. God always has bigger plans than I do... so surprise He had another
idea and what I learned in those three weeks - is invaluable.
The first thing I
noticed was that I was a lot less annoyed all the time. I had less material to
use to form opinions about people. When I removed myself from the literal
highlight reel, I stopped comparing myself to them.
I've always struggled
with a spirit of comparison. But it wasn't until myspace and Facebook came
around that I stopped comparing just my body and began comparing experiences. I
see people having kids, going to parties, traveling, getting married,
graduating, eating ice cream.. and instead of celebrating with them or
"liking" the picture. (Not everyone, or every post - give me some
credit) I get jealous and I ask God why not me? What is MY life?
But the beauty of
removing myself from this constant highlight reel, is that it created a space
for me to listen. When I did, God so calmly and pointedly whispered life into
me.
Why are you
discounting this process we're in?
There is beauty in
the struggle, a beauty that isn't easily represented in Instagram form. This
season is not cute. It's much deeper than that. Change your focus my sweet
child. You are in this place, in this moment, in this situation for a reason.
Celebrate this valley! You are so precious to me. This chiseling hurts now, but
I promise you, the end is near and you will walk so much lighter afterwards.
This struck me like a
weary traveler returning to land, I felt something so comforting and reassuring.
It was peace. It was a solid ground I could stand on, once again. I have walked
around with this hope that something good is coming for about 9 months now, but
until that little whisper I had no inclination that I was being worked on. I
just thought I was involved in some sort of commercial break; just waiting
patiently and not flipping channels. That seems like enough work to me. Ha! No.
Side note: One thing
I’m also learning is that God doesn’t waste our time.
& with that I
will leave you today, because I’m about to celebrate one of my dearest
childhood friend’s wedding!!
Part two will follow shortly. (: